Did "Turning Red" Have You Turning Red?

Prior to watching Pixar's newest film "Turning Red," I had read quite a few reviews - starting with one that I posted. My message was - and still is - that your family has the right to choose what is best for your family. If you choose to watch this movie, great. If you choose not to watch this movie, again, great. That should be a personal/family choice. And you shouldn't be shamed for either of those decisions.

I've now heard from both those who are for and those who are opposed to what this movie is about and I thought I'd put in my two cents. 

I have come to realize that I am not a fan of most of the Disney movies where humans turn in to animals. "Brother Bear" and "Brave" would all fall under that category. (I know *gasp* I put BRAVE in there. Most people love that movie. I love the female empowerment idea of the film, but the execution of it fell short.) I'm not opposed to the ideas of the stories, but more the point of these stories. Each one of these examples involves self-absorbed, bratty kids. Which, at times, we all are. So, relatable, I suppose? 

"Turning Red" falls under the aforementioned category. After reading reviews, we as a family, chose to watch the film, We love us some Disney films! We decided it gave us an opportunity to talk to our kids about these things, using the movie's themes. That's not to say this is appropriate for all families. I think there are kids that aren't mature enough for these discussions - especially if they aren't already a regular part of your every day conversations. It's like giving a baby steak when they still need a bottle - start small. But, this film doesn't start small. It jumps in with both feet. Am I mixing up my analogies enough for you yet? :)

If you've heard or read anything about the movie, you know it's about a young woman (Mei, who is 13), that begins to go through the rebellious adolescent stage. 

I found myself sympathizing and recognizing the feelings as I watched Mei get sidetracked by boys or get mad or cry at the drop of a hat. I remember feeling those ways and this movie did a great job of representing those feelings. It made me laugh and want to cry and made me want to comfort Mei and support her. 

Her mom had me cringing for entirely different reasons. She was unsupportive. She didn't listen. She loved her daughter but didn't know how to let her daughter mature. She embarrassed her daughter greatly multiple times. It was devastating to watch, as a mom. It was also a good reminder to me to cherish my daughter and be gentle with her -especially during those awkward, puberty-stricken years. 

The friends Mei has love her and support her. However, they also encourage her to rebel. They promote it. They say that they love the new her, when she starts to act out. They support this rebellious nature. Which, again, friends do, quite often. So, it's true to life in some ways. Obviously, none of us turn into a giant red panda during those years, though. 

Many of the reviews talk about how Mei has chosen to keep her panda, rather than "taming it" like her mother, aunts and grandma have done. In the reviews, this has come out as a very negative moment. However, my 10-year-old son had a different perspective, which I valued. He saw that Mei loved that she could continue to be a child (her panda) and also work toward being an adult. Also, that she learned to control her panda, so it was no longer just a rebellious animal that only came out with strong "inappropriate" emotions. (PS, I don't think any emotions are inappropriate - it's what we do with them that makes them appropriate or not.) Mei learned that she can have power over her panda, which I think is a valuable lesson within the film. Our emotions do not have to overcome us. 

I've heard "Turning Red" compared to "Luca" and how they are so similar and yet nobody had a problem with Luca. And there has been talk that it's probably because it being a boy vs. a girl going through that stage. I will raise my hand and say I did have a problem with Luca. I didn't enjoy a lot of the film. (Although it was aesthetically beautiful!) The minute a child rebels and then is rewarded - I have a problem with that. When they lie, I have a problem with that.  So, Luca fell into the same category. 

However, if we get really into the thick of this - we could say this applies to many Disney films: The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, Moana, Rapunzel (although her "mother" really wasn't, so she wasn't exactly rebelling),,.

The difference between those princesses, Luca and Mei in "Turning Red" is the sexualization of it. Yes, we could say many of the films show a little too much skin - but this goes beyond that. She draws pictures (granted, what you can see isn't dirty) of a boy and her together - and she hides under her bed while doing it so that her mom doesn't see. That alone made me feel...dirty...for lack of a better word. Like, having a dirty little secret. She is given money for being the panda and for letting a boy ride her (as the panda) at a birthday party. Some people may think I'm taking that  too literal, but it still made me uncomfortable. She also says she likes to gyrate and twerks at her mom. Too far. That was too far for me. My kids thought that was funny because she was a panda at the time. I, however, just found it grossly disrespectful. 

The message is to not worry as much about honoring your parents and make sure you are honoring yourself. The reconciliation, both in this and in Luca, comes down to the parents being wrong. And, although, there are some things the parents have done wrong, to not have any kind of punishment, really, for those kids, and instead, to be rewarded for their horrible behavior is where I have the biggest issue. The same thing happens in "The Little Mermaid", except she realizes what a dumb decision she has made and apologizes and then things are made right. Luca and Mei are coming out as the heroes - the ones who are right - while the parents are treated as the villains, the enemies. 

Puberty can be very much like that, though. So, in some ways, "Turning Red" was a great portrayal of what happens in relationships and with kids in that stage of life. So, having open dialogue made this a movie we were good with watching as a family.  I don't know that I'd watch it again - it made me mad how she was disobedient, rebellious and dishonest. I appreciated that the hurts and traumas that she and her mom have gone through are realized and reconciled.

So, overall, I think people that are up in arms over this movie have good reasons to be and I think those that think it's good to watch have good reasons to feel that way as well. Let's not pass judgement and rather let's offer grace and love when it comes to the decisions surrounding this film - or in all areas. Let's show love. 

As I've said before, you do what's best for your family. But, be prepared for conversations. The worst thing we can do is let our kids learn from the media they consume instead of from us.